When You’re Just No Good At Something

I’m still thinking about that article from two months ago that talked about how kindergarteners (!) are being pressured to perform tasks they aren’t developmentally ready for and are then labeled as “not good enough” because they don’t meet the unrealistic expectations.

Unfortunately, the bad effects of this kind of  labeling can last long after grade school. Sometimes they last a lifetime. A second grader told that he’s not very good in math can still break out in a sweat as an adult when faced with balancing his checkbook. A sixth grader told she doesn’t have a head for science may stop trying and give up the idea of going to college, not to mention med school.

The funny thing is that sometimes, if you get rid of the pain the kid feels from being told they are no good at something (either by teachers, parents, or test scores), they are able to start succeeding at it. It’s as if they were doing what they were supposed to do when they failed at math or biology — they were being a good student in a twisted way. But once they get beyond those memories, they don’t have to fail anymore and can start finding new ways to succeed.

If you have a belief that you are “no good at” something, like math or writing, look for some specific memories that “prove” that you are no good (e.g., a teacher shaking her head at your paper, your Dad sighing when he sees your report card, the inability to concentrate on the subtraction questions in third grade). Then try my Quick Start Guide to tapping to release stress on each of those memories you have of not being good at that subject. Releasing the stress of those memories may open up your ability that has been blocked up to now

(By the way, this can be tricky. There may be a lot of memories to work on, or you may not be able to come up with a single memory — you just “know” you can’t do algebra. It may take some time, or it may take some help from someone else who knows some of the tricks to tapping. Whatever you do, don’t assume — having tried to tap once or twice — that this proves you really are hopeless at whatever you are working on. You probably just need guidance on the tapping.)