Getting Rid of Kids’ Fear of Flying Over the Holidays

We tend to think it’s only adults who are afraid of flying. Maybe that’s because adults do a lot more flying than kids. Maybe it’s because some fear of flying arises because of a scary flight, so kids who have had less time in the air than their elders would be less likely to have had such a flight. I don’t know.

But whether or not it’s true that fewer kids than adults are afraid of flying, some kids do get stressed out when they fly. A few years ago I met a fourth grader who was terrified of flying, and it almost ruined a once-in-a-lifetime trip to Africa for the poor kid. I’ve also met a number of grown-ups who admit to me they’ve been afraid of flying since they were kids, whether or not they told anyone back then.

Now the holidays are coming up and families are going to get on planes to visit grandparents, or take vacations at far-away beaches or ski resorts. And some kids are going to be terrified, just like that fourth grader.

If that sounds like you, you can try breathing exercises to keep yourself calmer when you think about flying. Better yet, use the technique in my Quick Start Guide to bring down your fear way down. It can be amazing. I had a client I worked with (an adult, if you care) who got over her fear of flying in just one two-hour session. We tapped on all the things (like the noises and the smells) that usually trigger her fear on a plane. Then we worked through a memory of a bad flight she was on.

She told me she wasn’t nervous at all in the days leading up to leaving, which was very unusual for her. She also was remarkably calm during the flights themselves, only getting a little anxious when they ran into some turbulence. But she tapped for that, and brought her stress right back down.

Now I can’t promise that I could get rid of everyone’s fear of flying in one session, but this technique is a lot faster than the more traditional desensitization approach, which can take months. And when the fear is gone, it’s gone for good. You don’t have to do relaxation exercises throughout every flight, or try to distract yourself by picking on your little brother, or try to ignore the fact that you’re in a plane by closing your eyes and listening to your iPod very loudly. You can just enjoy looking at the clouds and eating the free soda and pretzels. And maybe picking on your little brother, just for fun.